Experiencing Art

My to do list never seems to end and I often find myself pushing art making to the very end. I haven't painted for a few weeks and I finally could not contain the creative energy that was building up. It felt like an intensifying itch in my heart. Despite the many things I needed to do, I sat myself down with a blank canvas and tubes of paint and released the need to create.

The painting above was the end result. I'm not quite sure if it's done or not. I feel like adding some more things to it but I'm not sure yet, so it'll probably just sit around for awhile until an idea sparks. Or perhaps it will sit around and simply stay the way it is.

When I decided that I wanted to paint something I had no idea what to paint. Then a certain image and feeling came to me and I quickly did a Google image search, didn't really find what I wanted to capture, and just went for it. My still-developing technical abilities and impatience kept me from capturing exactly what I felt but I'd say this painting is roughly what I was feeling inside.

Originally, the woman was not wearing an elegant dress. I was picturing something more raw and torn, like a female Tarzan type outfit. But it wasn't working the way I imagined and so it transformed into the formal dress that it is.

I'm not sure what I had in mind when I painted the splotches of color that surround the figure. It was simply a feeling I was trying to capture. I don't know if it was successful or not. I experimented with a few layers of colors because I couldn't decide what colors captured my feelings.

I painted this at night right before going to bed so I set it on a chair beside my bed, unsure if it was successful in representing what I felt inside. I would give it time, like many other things in life. Similar to taking a day or two break from an essay to gain objectivity before going back to make improvements, art work requires time away as well. One thing was certain though, it felt good to finally brush on layers of colorful paint on the canvas. I felt cleansed by expressing myself.

As I went through the next day, I occasionally glanced over at the painting, still full of indecision. Did I like it? I don't know. Do I want to add to it? Still don't know. But as I looked at it again before going to bed the next day, I was struck by a realization- this painting is a reflection of me...I am that woman in red...

***

I have always had an interest in social justice but recently I have made more time to read about it and become more aware of the injustices and suffering that goes on in the world. Especially after having gone to a third world country earlier in the year, I cannot allow myself to be deceived by what my eyes see around me, a world of plenty, a lifestyle of wealth and ample material possessions.

Watching news on TV, reading about tragedies around the world on my iphone news app, my eyes are openening to the heartache that the world experiences daily- broken hearted parents in India mourning over their elementary school aged children who died from spoiled food provided by the school from an organization that wanted to ensure these children receive at least one meal a day, a devastating train wreck in Spain that killed 78 people, social unrest throughout the world, a doctor killing his wife by poisoning her with cyanide, the list goes on and on.

When I was creating the painting, I was not trying to express darkness or sorrow. In fact, in reflecting back I think I wanted to capture a sense of rawness, honesty, and something hopeful. The splotches of color were originally green and blue. I didn't like how it looked though so I went over it with a dark purple, perhaps to give it more of a regal feeling since the dress ended up being an elegant style.

***

As I looked again at this painting before going to bed the next day, I felt as if someone else had painted it and I was looking at it as an outsider. I was taken aback by how the darkness surrounding the figure accurately portrayed my experience of seeing more of the brokenness in our world. I almost felt like I was looking into a mirror. I am the woman and the sorrowful dark colors surround me the way my heart is burdened by the pain in this world. Words I had read that day in a book about art therapy drifted to mind.

"...art expressions can also change meanings over time. That is, if you look at a drawing or painting several weeks from now, you may see new aspects and have new reactions and responses to what you see. This is part of the magic of art but also part of its mystery when it comes to establishing a singular meaning for a drawing, painting, or sculpture." (Malchiodi, Cathy A. (2007) The Art Therapy Sourcebook. U.S.A.: McGraw-Hill.)

Thanks for reading and being a part of this journey :)
-M

Share and Do Good Art Show

 

I had my first solo show on Friday and it has been a life changing experience! I have been asking for guidance regarding the role of art in my life and I am finding doors opening one at a time. I would really like to incorporate helping people into my artwork and doing this show with Share and Do Good, a store that only sells products that help people around the world, has given me some insight. Because it was my first solo show and because I felt like it was a miracle that I even got this opportunity, I wanted to use it mostly to donate money to First Love International Ministries rather than making profit from it. I felt that it was a good way to show my appreciation, remember and support the children I met in Nepal and India, and exactly the kind of way I would want to start this journey.

There is still something special about seeing artwork up close, seeing the details that go into the work, so I hope that people will still be interested in going even though I am posting a picture of it all :P Also, my main goal is to raise money, raise awareness, and invite people to be a part of helping others, so I am hoping that people will purchase the more affordable versions of the pieces as greeting cards. However, one of my desires is that people are able to buy products that they actually really enjoy and appreciate, not just buy for the sake of donating money. I've bought a few things at the store already because I think the stuff they have there is really great! I hope that if you're in the area, you are able to check it out sometime! 

Anyway, I wanted to share part of my artist statement that explain the inspiration behind the 5 pieces I made for this show. Enjoy!

About the show:

The pieces in this show explore themes of hopes and dreams, childhood, and growth. In the paintings, the warm colors and hazy look of the background combined with words cut out from children’s books illustrate our inner child- the earnest and untainted hopes and wishes we held in our hearts as a little boy or girl.  The trees symbolize growth and life as a process. As we journey through life, the eagerness and hopefulness of childhood yearnings linger and fight to endure. The flowers, which were made from paper bought in Nepal, bring a sparkle of life to the painting and the relationships of the birds allow the viewer to imagine a story or conversation adding another dimension to the work. In contrast, the charcoal drawings depict life as an adult. The black and white illustrate a more defined identity shaped by experiences, sometimes good and sometimes difficult. The words cut and pasted from an adult novel on the bottom portray a resilient and matured feeling of hope and beauty that often began in childhood. Both paintings and drawings are a message of holding onto the child-like earnestness of our hopes and desires as we weather through life.

How You Can Help

I will be donating 50% of the sales price to First Love, a non-profit organization that supports and funds orphanages in Nepal and India. This past spring of 2013, I had the opportunity to visit these orphanages and meet 160 of these children. I feel like I have left a part of my heart with them. I cherish the time I spent with them making friendship bracelets, playing hand games, and talking with them.  Before I left, many of them drew me pictures, wrote cards, and told me “Please don’t forget about me.” Those words have stuck with me and I would like remember them by donating part of my sales to First Love. On my trip, I got to spend 2 weeks with Robert Clinton, one of the founders of First Love. After seeing his compassionate heart and his sincere love for not only the children but the people of India and Nepal, I can donate knowing these children are in good hands. (www.firstloveinternational.com)

Thanks for reading!
-M

Process of T-shirt Making

Here's the shirt! I'd say it wasn't too bad for 1.5 hours and my first time :) 

I am playing in a volleyball tournament today and our team decided to do an "I <3 ____" themed outfit. I don't have one so I decided to attempt making one. I was brainstorming ideas for what to put and it felt out of place doing a location...since I'm not buying this shirt as a souvenir. I narrowed it down to either volleyball or cats and decided on the cat because it has more personality and a cuter silhouette. :)  Approximate production time: 1.5-2 hours. I'm hoping the paint will dry in time! The bottle says 4 hours. Barely made it!

Here's a step by step visual of how this shirt came to be!  I looked for a font on Word to model my letters after. I used the Gungsuh font in case you decide to make one too. It seemed close to the font found on the traditional I <3 NY shirts.

1. I wore the shirt and placed painter's tape to mark of the boundaries of where I wanted the design. The key is to do it while wearing it otherwise you might be disappointed with the placement once you've finished. Once I laid the shirt flat on the table, I straightened out the boundaries and used a ruler to center the image.

2. I cut drawing paper (it's thicker than regular printing paper so it works better as a stencil) to fit inside the boundaries. I lightly drew lines to divide up the paper into grids of where each letter would be so that it would be balanced. Then I sketched the design while looking at the font I found on Word and an image of the cat I saw online.
*If I had had more time or were to make another shirt, I would have printed out the letters instead of hand drawn them. That would ensure exact font accuracy, font size, and even thickness of lines.

3. I cut out the design with an Exacto knife

4. I taped on the stencil, being careful to tape down intricate spaces to make sure the stencil didn't budge while painting. While holding down the edges of the design, I carefully sponged on the fabric paint. (Instead of buying fabric paint, you can also buy fabric medium to add to regular acrylic paint. For me, it was cheaper for me to just buy 2 bottles of fabric paint than to buy the fabric medium. If you are using lots of colors and already have acrylics, it may be a better choice to go the other route.)

Here is a close up of the finished product! If I were to redo it, I would make sure to cover the edges of the paper with tape so that paint doesn't accidentally go outside of the boundaries. You can see some splotches on top of the "I" where that happened to me. You live and you learn :)

This proved to be a fun project! Maybe it'll come to use in the future...we'll see :)
Thanks for reading!
-M

Mosaic

I had some left over clay, pieces of glass, and beads so I made a mosaic. I didn't have any specific idea of what I was going to make. I started out with shaping the clay into a heart for no particular reason. As I started laying in the pieces of glass, a song lyric from Vienna Teng's "Enough" popped into my heart and kept repeating.  She sings...

 "I'll carry the weight of you....carry the weight of me in your heart."

As the lyrics circled and danced around inside of me, it made me think of the children I got to spend time with in India and Nepal. I will not forget how many of them came up to me and said, "Please don't forget me!" Hearing them say it with such concern and yearning made me resolve that I would do what I could to  love them by remembering them and praying for them even if we are halfway across the world from each other.

I will carry them in my heart. Their presence is ever so real and tangible that my heart can feel their weight. I will carry the weight of them in my heart and this mosaic was a way for me to materialize and express my desire.

I feel like I have left a part of my heart with those children...and I feel like I carry them around in my heart here with me.

4.5" x 5.5" Clay, glass, beads, glue. The hearts on the two maps mark the estimated location of the orphanages we visited.

A Wish Come True

Today was an exciting day! I went to visit my dandelion at the Brea Art Gallery!

 It was accepted into their juried show of artwork by California residents. I was out of town for the opening night so I went today to see it in the gallery. I feel like a parent who's sent off their child to their first day of school. I am so thrilled to have my dandelion out in the public for others to enjoy rather than collect dust in my house! When it had been accepted into the student show a couple years ago, I got to see other students having so much fun taking pictures with my dandelion, pretending to blow on it and being so excited to see a life-size dandelion.  That was when I realized artwork is meant to be shared. I wish I had gotten to be at the opening night for this show to see others enjoy it but maybe there will be another opportunity for that.

Standing with my dandelion :)

There it is! Among other works of art! I feel like my dandelion has friends :)

A wish come true!

I had to submit a short excerpt about the piece

If  you live in Socal and you're interested in seeing it in person, I'd highly recommend checking out the gallery. I really enjoyed walking around and seeing the other works of art. They have some really interesting and lovely pieces in this one!

Thanks for reading!
-M